Hard to Lead: The True Test of Leadership

James R. Rector, Founder & Publisher
Profiles in Leadership Journal

Every leader eventually runs into someone who is, frankly, hard to lead. Maybe it’s the teammate who argues every point, the one who always seems to find the gray cloud in your blue sky. Or the person whose brilliance comes packaged with a grating edge that tests your patience.

The instinct is simple: you have the authority, so why put up with it? After all, leaders can promote, demote, or even terminate. That power makes tolerance shorter than it might be at home, where you can’t just “fire” a family member.

And yet, that’s where the real test of leadership lies. Can you hold the tension between results and relationship? Can you see the value in someone whose style isn’t yours, someone who forces you to stretch, to pause, to practice restraint?

At home, we sometimes discover that the sibling who annoyed us most was also the one who taught us patience, or who surprised us with loyalty when it mattered. In organizations, the same paradox appears: the very person who is hard to lead may carry a perspective or skill that the team can’t do without.

The leader’s challenge is not to excuse bad behavior, but to recognize when irritation blinds us to contribution. The hard-to-lead teammate might be the grit that polishes the stone, the spark that prevents groupthink, or the one voice willing to say what others won’t.

Loving them may be too much to ask. Respecting their value is not.